I'm going to jail i love you
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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