you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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