i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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