I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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