I've blown a few things in my day
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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