It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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