I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
