On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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