All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize