508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
