Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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