I can't breathe out the right side of my face
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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