I'm really into asian looking animals
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
