Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
