Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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