I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
