one might say we're banned from that church
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
