jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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