i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My ATM looks so different sober.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
