I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
