some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
