we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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