I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
