Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
North Korea, Best Korea!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize