He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
