: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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