I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
