I think I died a long time ago.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize