that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
