Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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