Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
