Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
