Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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