What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize