the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's never too late to be topless.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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