Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your cock deserves a montage
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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