I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
this will be a night to untag.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
