Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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