coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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