I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
