I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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