i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
