just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize