I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
