google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
