dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
