i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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