it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
