You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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