There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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