Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
