someone threw a dead crab at me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
