i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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