as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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