butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
