Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
