he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
