So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
